Readings: Genesis 11:1-9

Once upon a time all the world spoke a single language and used the same words. As people journeyed in the east, they came upon a plain in the land of Shinar and settled there. They said to one another, 'Come, let us make bricks and bake them hard'; they used bricks for stone and bitumen for mortar. 'Come,' they said, 'let us build ourselves a city and a tower with its top in the heavens, and make a name for ourselves; or we shall be dispersed all over the earth.' Then the LORD came down to see the city and tower which mortals had build, and the LORD said, 'Here they are, one people with a single language, and now they have started to do this; henceforward nothing they have a mind to do will be beyond their reach. Come, let us go down there and confuse their speech, so that they will not understand what they say to one another.' So the LORD dispersed them from there all over the earth, and they left off building the city. That is why it is called Babel, because the Lord there made a babble of the language of all the world; from that place the LORD scattered people all over the face of the earth.[1]

What we want is a model of the universe
That includes everything leaving nothing out
Yet is completely different fresh unique holding nothing in common
With any of its constituent elements
Yet is not strange exotic and does not make us feel uncomfortable
What we want is model of the universe we can
Read about in a magazine article with pictures
Yet it can't be just another magazine article and it can't
Be in a regular magazine this magazine will glow as it shimmers before our eyes
What we want is a model of the universe that will answer all our questions
To which we can refer for all sorts of advice
To foretell the future cure bursitis get rich quick aphrodisiac etc.
And will be absolutely foolproof one hundred percent of the time
What we want is a model of the universe
That we can talk to coyly we can droop our eyelids at
Plumb our lower lips begin to sniffle
And it will pat our shoulders say "there there dear" grow sad and droopy itself
But without ever really loosing its composure and assurance
What we want is a model of the universe so complex we can never understand it
So simple we can grasp it in a glance and explain it to our friends via a
few simple sentences
What we want is a model of the universe
Which once in our possession becomes identified so strikingly with us
That we become internationally famous and our names
Household words the meaning of our doing and saying
An eternally living legacy around which all subsequent culture is organized
What we want is model of the universe we can count on time after time
Yet is never tiring never predictable eternally new
What we want is a model of the universe that is better than someone else's model of the universe
That makes their model of the universe look really pale by comparison although
Only we realize this we and our intimate friends
But our model of the universe is also better than the
Model of the universe of even our intimate friends
Although the fact of the matter is that no one but us really
Possesses a model of the universe it is our own little secret
However we write poems about it that strike others as
Infinitely suggestive and profound but since this makes us feel lonely
We want a model of the universe that everyone understands
We want a model of the universe that explains everything
Yet doesn't take the mystery out of anything in fact adds mystery
Even to the simplest of daily actions a model of the universe that
Keeps us fit and eating delicate and healthy foods
A model of the universe in which we appear never overweight nor old
Yet we don't want to actually appear in this model of the universe
We want to be beyond it holding it in our hand looking at it from a distance
Yet we don't want to feel alien from it either we want love
We want a model of the universe in which we can always stay home
Yet be able to travel whenever we want to remote places
Where all foreign languages are actually English
Though they never lose their ethnic charm
What we want is a model of the universe
Contiguous with the total shape of time
So that it neither begins nor ends is neither something nor nothing
What we want is a model of the universe in which
This poem therefore never ends and in which it never began[2]

I spent most of the week before Labor Day camping alongside one the beautiful Nicolet National Forest lakes. Though reading and planning sermons occupied a good deal of my time each day, it was a rejuvenating, Sabbath experience. Alone, I had the freedom each day to eat when I wanted, read when I wanted, go for a walk or a swim when I wanted. The weather was perfect. School having started, the campground was nearly empty of people. I had several close and wondrous encounters with animals. I walked by a tall tree on which a bald eagle had perched. Just as I walked by, the eagle flew off in all its glory. A busy family of loons captured my attention, the sound of their amazing calls echoing around the lake. One day, as I sat on a little beach by the lake, I heard a loud breathing sound. I looked up and saw three otters looking at me from just beyond the swimming area. The last night I saw a shooting star, and then the Northern Lights shining over the lake. For a person who loves silence and nature, it was paradise.

Well, maybe not quite. Nothing's completely perfect, is it? There was the day I went to the beach a little after lunch. With the slow deliberation that is the blessing of unstructured, mindful time, I set myself up on the empty beach. I put down a snack and sunscreen in the shade of a big tree and set up my chair and a few books on the beach. The sun felt unusually bright, so I was particularly careful to slather on lots of sun screen. My lips had burned a bit the day before, so I put on lots of lip balm that had sun screen in it.

Almost immediately my lips began to feel funny. Even a little numb. Wow, I thought, this stuff must really work! Within a minute, I could hardly feel my lips. It was just like a dentist had shot Novocain into them. This is strange. I reached for the lip balm to see if it said anything about your lips going numb. The words "DO NOT APPLY TO LIPS" leapt out at me. So did "Instantly numbs the itch and pain of stings and bites."

I remember when Amy bought the first-aid stuff for insect bites and stings. The insect stuff looked just like lip balm: in a little stick, the end of which you apply to your bites and stings. I remember thinking, "Boy, I bet some idiots get confused and put the insect stuff on their lips!"

There I was, looking at the insect stuff in my hands, my lips now completely numb, feeling very much like an idiot. Of course I did the only thing a human being could possibly do at that moment: I looked around to make sure no one else had joined me on the beach! When we do idiotic things, our first instinct is always to check whether anyone else saw us. Luckily I was still alone. The numbness kept spreading. I ran into the water and tried to wash my lips. It didn't help much.

It was when I waded out of the water back onto the beach that I realized I hadn't been alone after all. I heard muffled laughter coming from the woods by the beach. I could tell right away that it wasn't human laughter; it was Coyote laughter. Oh no! I thought. I panicked, scurrying to pick up my scattered belongings in an effort to flee the beach. But it was too late.

My old friend Coyote sauntered toward me, no longer trying to stifle his laughter. "Where ya going in such a hurry? Hey, did you know that your lips look red and swollen?!" Then, sarcastically pretending that he cared: "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you. I was just leaving. Nice to see you again," I said, by way of attempting to end the conversation. Of course, as he always does, he ignored my signal and walked alongside me.

"You know," he said, "my favorite sport is watching people do dumb things. You all think you're so smart, so in control. And then you go and put bug stuff on your lips. I just love your species!"

"Hrrmpph." I wasn't about to get sucked into this conversation. And besides, my lips were still numb enough that it wasn't that easy to talk. We walked along toward my tent, with me of course carrying everything: books, towel, chair, sun-screen, snack. Coyote eyed my snack longingly. No way I'm going to give him that, I thought.

"And you people think you understand everything, too. We coyotes are so sick of people snooping around after us, studying us, trying to figure us out. Scientists, that's what you call them. Right?"

Oh no, I thought. Another diatribe from Coyote.

"Well, you can't figure us out completely! You're not that smart! You can't figure out how everything works! You never will! You never will understand everything! You will never control everything! Let's face it: you're all just a little too stupid. Your lips are proof of that!" He paused for a few moments. I just kept walking. Then he said, "You just can't figure out everything. When it comes to how things work, I'm a Mystery Guy! There will always be mystery."

I didn't feel like being on the receiving end of one of Coyote's diatribes. My lips finally beginning to have feeling, my mind began to work a little better. "Hey, Coyote, yesterday I went for a run on the road leading out of the camp. I saw a dead raccoon out there. Road kill. It looked fresh and..." Coyote bounded out of sight before I even finished my sentence. I may be an idiot, I thought, licking my lips, but I do know how to control him at least a little bit!

The next afternoon--another beautiful one--I headed back to the beach. I sat and read and swam and thought for hours, really alone this time and in heaven. I decided at one point to go for a walk. I was curious to walk a ways around the lake, toward this small peninsula sticking out into the lake. It was the place the otters seemed to head after they observed me on the beach. I walked through the woods, then took a short cut across an area with grasses and short growth. About the time I realized I was in a bog, each footstep sinking into the squishy ground, Coyote joined me. My shoes and even my socks were completely soaked and mud-caked. He just looked at my feet.

"Don't even say it!" I said. He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. Somehow I made it through the bog and reached the peninsula, which was pretty cool. We sat down on water's edge.

"After enjoying that raccoon yesterday, I looked up a word in my dictionary," Coyote said. "Hubris." He paused for effect. "Here's the definition: 'an insolent pride or presumption.' The dictionary also talked about hubris in Greek tragedy: 'an arrogant pride toward the gods, leading to retribution.' I like hubris a lot. I think it sums up your species perfectly. I think that's your cardinal sin. Your pride and presumption leads you to imagine you control things and understand things. You're always developing some system to control the latest problem, some system to explain everything tidily. It is arrogance, and it leads you into trouble. Time after time after time. I like being there for the trouble part. That's when things get really funny."
I decided this time I might as well as join the conversation. It was going to happen anyway, and at least he couldn't talk while I was talking. "I don't know, Coyote. You're making an awful lot out of a little mistake with lip balm."

"And the bog!" he jumped in.

"Yeah, and the bog. I don't think either had anything to do with pride or arrogance. They were just mistakes--little mistakes."
"It's your species' mistakes--big and small--that I love most. It's only in the midst of a mistake that you get a glimpse of how little you actually control and understand. It's only in the midst of stupidity that you get a glimpse of the utter fallacy of your arrogance and pride."

We sat in silence, looking at the water gently washing up. Suddenly Coyote said, "Y2K was my idea."

"What?"

"Y2K was my idea. Well, the glitch was my idea, anyway."

"What do you mean?"

"I came up with the Y2K glitch."

"No way!"

"Yeah, I did. I like to gently nudge you humans to do stupid things--not that you really need my help, mind you. But with your hubris, it's pretty easy to trick you into colossal stupidity. And I'm the Trickster.

"I was there with those early computer people. I remember one of them was pretty smart and said, 'Hey, we ought to use more than two digits for the year. What's going to happen when the year 2000 comes?'

Coyote continued: "So I said to the computer people, 'Nah, don't worry about it. Let's save space and use just two digits. They'll figure it out. And if they don't, it won't be that big of a deal. Computers will probably be obsolete by then. That's a long time into the future. Why worry now?' So I persuaded the computer people. Then I was smart enough a couple years ago to see the marketing potential of Y2K. I invested in some of the merchandise that's hyping Y2K--and generators. I really like those hats with the seconds ticking down.

"Y2K is definitely one of my biggest tricks ever. I can't believe they fell for it! It's just like when I whispered to the captain of that big ship not to worry about icebergs."

"The Titanic?" I interrupted.

"Yeah, that's the one. 'Hey,' I said to the captain, 'this is the greatest ship ever built. You don't need to worry about some stupid icebergs. An iceberg couldn't even dent this baby!' He fell for it, too.

"And then there was the time a few years later when I was talking to President Wilson. I told him that the Great War would end all wars. I know, it sounded crazy: fight a world war to end war. But he bought it. What an idiot!

"Just lately I've really begun to reap the reward of encouraging the British and Americans to resist the metric system 'Don't worry about it,' I say. 'Those other people will drop metric sometime.' To hear that a space probe crashed into Mars because of confusion over the metric or English system really made my day!

"Right now I've been working with the leaders of China and car manufacturers. 'Everybody in China should have a car,' I've told them. 'At least one. Two would be even better. It's a lot of cars, but you can do it! And you don't really need to do any city planning for it. Bikes, cars: what's the difference?'

"Or there's the water thing. 'Don't worry about water,' I tell anyone who will listen. 'There's so much in the Great Lakes; they don't know what to do with it. I'm sure you'll be able to buy it from them cheap.'

"Here's another example: how I keep telling people in earthquake zones to keep building. Don't worry: your buildings will survive anything. The list goes on and on. Hubris is my greatest ally! It's my job to use and expose your hubris. These are my greatest Tricks. And, really, they're so easy!"

I sat in stunned silence. Coyote had me, and he was on a roll.

"What I like especially about Y2K," he said, "is that none of you really knows just what's going to happen when that magical moment arrives, when the big ball drops. You have some people who think it's going to be nothing; and others who think it's going to be the end of the world as we know it and are obsessing on how to survive. Some are predicting it'll be just another turn of the millennium; others predict total chaos. The beauty is that no one really knows. None of you can know until it happens. It's another great lesson I'm giving you in how you really don't control nearly as much as you think."

Growing weary, I said, "Let's head back." Coyote agreed, and we got up to leave. We came to the point where we had to choose whether to take the short-cut through the bog or walk the long way in the woods.

Coyote whispered in my ear, "The short-cut is easier. I'm sure you'll find a way through the bog that's less squishy." I took the long way.

"You're getting smarter," Coyote said as he bounded away from me. Almost out of sight, he turned back and yelled, "But I'm sure it won't last! See you next mistake!"[3]

Copyright 1999 by Roger B. Bertschausen. All rights reserved.

[1]The New English Bible.
[2]"A Model of the Universe" in Gary Gach, ed., What Book!? Buddha Poems from Beat to Hiphop (Berkeley: Parallax Press, 1998).
[3]With many thanks to native storytellers in many lands and many times who have told stories about Coyote, and to the Rev. Webster Kitchell, the Unitarian Universalist minister who invented Coyote's conversations with the UU minister. His book God's Dog: Conversations with Coyote (Boston: Skinner House Books, 1991) is a wonderful collection of his conversations with Coyote.